We IM and BBM. We Tweet. We Blog. We SMS and MMS. E-mail. V-mail. We video conference and Halo. We publish our views and our take on the news. Scream about our right to privacy…but we let it all hang out.
We start rumors, correct them, and then start new ones. We forward nonsense and complain when we get spammed. We talk about interactivity but really mean what I send you.
What’s missing is old-fashioned listening. Listening…as in someone talks, you assimilate the information, analyze it, ruminate, and then respond hopefully to add value to what might become a conversation.
For some reason we confuse the technology of reading others’ rantings, ravings and even good writing with the true art of listening and learning.
Way too often I hear people pontificate on some great insight gleaned from “listening” to some bloggers or posters, which, when taken in context or really analyzed, is meaningless or meaningful in a completely different way. Ways you would have understood, in a flash, if you had the benefit of real conversation.
If we are to be successful, really successful in this new age of “unlimited” communications opportunities, we are going to have to separate mere technology – an ever-changing landscape – from the deepest truths of the core human experience.
To that end I have gone to a source that will still be here when Twitter is a mere footnote and PCs are long forgotten.
Listen:
“Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice.”
And there you have it…listen. The more you do – the more powerful the response.
Your view?
but if there will be few voices, then there won’t be much to listen to… will there?
regarding the ‘listening’ part, i very much agree that it is a must, an essence… but tweeting, bbming, etc doesn’t necessarily prevent it. it’s not one or the other, it could be both.
an interesting article which illustrates that we still grasp information through technology would be the following:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090627/ap_en_ot/us_michael_jackson_the_media_moment
As my mother used to tell me, “There is a difference between hearing and listening.” What she meant was that listening requires participation and thinking. I don’t believe that technology prohibits listening but we all have become fractured with our overloaded lives. We tend to lose focus, become distracted by one of our multiple devices buzzing or someone pulling us off task and that is where we change from people who listen and people who just hear.
I am listening mate… Please go on!
First off, really interesting entry!
Second, I agree with David’s original post, but the susequent responses have interesting points as well.
Technology in today’s world offers people the ability to stay connected 24/7. This ability is not inherently negative. It allows everyone to generate and publish “content” and contribute “data” to the big thought cloud with minimal effort. It gives everyone a chance to speak and be heard.
But whether everyone has something insightful or useful to say is entirely suspect.
Since it is so easy to contribute these days, everyone feels inclined to offer their opinion, even when it is inappropriate or doesn’t offer any value at all. How many times have you seen replies that simply stated “LOL” or “PWNED!” or stated something that indicated the poster did not even fully read the original post? Or how many times have sifted through a thread only to realize you have been wasting your time?
Our new technology makes it easier to publish something without having to take responsibility for what is posted. People are less inclined to spend effort doing proper research, or fact-checking their position, or thinking their arguments through. Heck, a lot of people don’t even care about proper spelling anymore (and I am not talking about use of Internet lingo or l33t speak)!
I think it’s not just a problem of listening, but a problem of focusing and concentrating in general. In order to properly listen to someone during a conversation, you have to focus on that one train of thought and block everything else out. With all the distractions that technology provides us, all the constant external stimuli, it becomes increasingly difficult to focus on the task at hand. How many times have you been interrupted by an “urgent” email, or SMS text, or instant message while you were in the middle of a meaningful task? Or better yet, how many times have you voluntarily put aside what you were doing just to check your email, or a favourite blog, or your smartphone for new content?
Nor is it just about listening to other people. When was the last time you had a chance to sit by yourself, somewhere quiet, shut out all the random thoughts and just focus on one idea for an extended period of time? When was the last time you had a chance to have a meaningful conversation with yourself?
At this point, I have to come clean and say I have contributed lots of junk to the thought cloud.
So to avoid being a hypocrite, I want to say that the problem isn’t a few bad apples (like myself) who pollute what would otherwise be meaningful conversations. And there are plenty of times when a conversation is a light-hearted affair, or is simply about people coming together to offer support, and not some deep, mind-blowing epiphany (e.g. people coming together to share their experiences of Michael Jackson).
I believe that we as a collective define the trend for how new technology will be used. I am just another sheep in the flock. But it does not necessarily mean that the trend is a good thing, or that we as individuals have to go along with the trend.
I think the trend today is to emphasize multi-tasking and context-switching over focusing on a single thing. I think the trend today is to value a constant flow of brain farts over well-formed, cohesive thoughts. I am not saying that no one posts insightful 140 character tweets, only that they are few and far between the rest of the junk. And I doubt you want to spend the rest of your life sorting through the unless stuff.
Slowly we are beginning to lose the ability to focus. We are getting out of practice.
In order to actually listen, you are going to have to fight the status quo. You are going to have to actively turn off certain streams of content when you are trying to focus. Only then will you be able to concentrate and really listen.
To listen its not just the ears but every sensory bit that the human body activates to listen and understand. You can listen with your eyes with you nose and even with a touch.
While at it, its important to some times also dwell a bit into yourself and listen to yourself and focus on what is it that is the best in you that others can benefit from and only share that for everyone.
The completion of listening is an action that benefits a larger cause a brand, yourself or the world around you.
Most people use the time when other people are talking to think of what they want to say next, not to actively listen. Among the many reasons is the fact that we train people to operate that way by overloading them with information, most of it useless information.
A great Hasidic Rabbi once said “All that is thought should not be said, all that is said should not be written, all that is written should not be published, and all that is published should not be read.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menachem_Mendel_of_Kotzk. To me that means people should take the power of communication seriously and think before they speak.
On the flip side, there are so many people who have really insightful and important things to say. My google reader has thousands of articles from hundreds of subscriptions a large number of which are just amazing. I hear pseudo-statistics like there is more information in a copy of the NY Times then most people were exposed to in a lifetime 150 years ago. I don’t know if that’s true, but I certainly feel that the amount of really good and interesting information out there is overwhelming and not only can I not keep up, I wouldn’t even know how to. Then it become a matter of triaging; what can I miss, ignore or only semi pay attention to. And then I’ve become the enemy – half listening, forwarding around articles and ideas I find interesting or worth sharing.
How about this — “The sounds of silence”…..think about what insights you can glean….
I love it when a client tells me the solution to the problem they are paying me to solve.
No blogs, emails, tweets, meetings, interviews. Just a quiet coffee and no agenda.
I loveit when we get to the solution together — over the same cup of coffee — maybe a bagel too….
we basically dont know how to use the social media. Everyone is using it as a bull horn to throw their message out there.
It’ s not effective at all.
Dr. Letitia Wright
The Wright Place TV Show
http://wrightplacetv.com
http://www.twitter.com/drwright1
A good rule: Ask more than you tell. And..ever wonder if social media improves a customer experience? http://tinyurl.com/mfxypq Thx David – great post.
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I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog
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